Last week was Chuseok and one of the biggest Korean family holidays. Twice a year Koreans all travel back to the home of their eldest living relative, on the father's side of the family, to hold a memorial service for their deceased relatives, visit the graveyards, and generally eat and drink together.
The first Chuseok as as a married couple is very important as you must honour the deceased relatives for the first time, and as a wife you are now responsible to join the other women of the family to cook and clean for the men!! (yes you can imagine my joy at this!)
The holiday is 3 days long, but luckily as Hyunwoo's family lives in Busan, we only had to meet for 2 days and had one day of blissfull resting!!
The holiday started on the Tuesday when the women meet together (I had to take Hyunwoo as a translator! and a very useful cleaner actually!) We worked to prepare the food for the Wednesday, when all the other family members will get together. We prepared soup, side dishes including vegetables, tofu and kimchi and we cleaned all the ceremonial tables and dishes.
Then on Wednesday we had to arrive at Hyunwoo's cousin's house - where his Uncle lives, at 8am.
First, it was our job to prepare the ceremonial table - all food which we will eat must first be offered to the ancestors so must be carefully prepared and set on the table.
Each relative is remembered three times, first with rice, soup and then with water. At each stage each generation of men must go forward, for example Hyunwoo and his brother, then one holds the shot glass and the other a kettle of wine which is then poured in three motions, and offered to the relative. Then they must perform 2 and half ceremonial bows. This process is repeated three times with the offerieng of the rice, soup and water and for each generation.
Once the relative has been remembered, their name is burnt and the next relative is honoured.
The whole process takes a few hours and as a new wife I must also honour and pay my respects to the relatives. However, normally the women do not need to bow as the family being remembered is the man's. (the woman's family is remembered on individual remembrance days throughout the year)
A photo of the ceremonial area can be seen:
After the ceremony is complete it is time for the family to eat. There were in total 17 people for the breakfast ceremony. Breakfast consists of - rice, kimchi (Korean Cabbage), side dishes - pak choi, bean sproats, vegetables, tofu, grilled fish, japche (fried noodles and vegetables), shark meat, beef, and soup.
While the men were seated we then served the rice, side dishes and drinks. Once the men had been served the women are allowed to sit for their breakfast. (Another strange thing that goes against my western idea of equality!!) The drinking of soju (Korean traditional alcohol) now begins!!
After breakfast, the women clear up the tables and we prepare to go to the graveyards - this year it was too wet to go to the graves but usually, we must take some fruit as an offering and drive to the graveyards, about 1 hour away (this is on a good driving day - as all Korean families drive to the graves at the same time at CHuseok this can often take a few hours!! and then another couple of hours waiting to park!) Once you arrive at the graves, it is important to follow the same memorial service as breakfast but at the individual graves of the ancestors.
After returning home, it is time to prepare the dinner, it is usually the same food as for the breakfast. The men are seated and the women serve the food and drinks to the family. After dinner it is free time for talking, more eating and drinking. Often other relatives from the female side of the family are able to visit - for example the daughter of the aunts./ uncles with their families and more food and drink is offered!
We finally got home around 10pm - it was a long but fun day - I really think I learnt alot about Korean Culture. There are aspects which I find difficult to understand and accept but overall it was a really good family time to spend together. I think that as the generations go by it will evolve as with other aspects of Korean life which are a little outdated! Watch out men, you will be serving us one day!!
